considering the number of new year resolutions that never gets fulfilled and keep snowballing forward year after year, i’ve decided to turn to spam emails for this year’s resolutions:

1. send US$5 to orethea carmichael so i can get US$10 in return from cleotilde ortiz
2. have all my loans instantly approved
3. melt away pounds of fat in days with anatrim
4. donate blood palettes to dannette rodriguez who happens to need the same one as mine
5. get an online MBA from university of muleshoe texas, in weeks
6. run a pharmacy from my own home through online bulk ordering, no prescriptions needed
7. cash in the cheque of $10,000 i may already have won
8. gain inches to attract women cos everyone knows they are shallow
9. help nokombamtu lona safekeep his gold bullion from his country’s corrupt officials
10. reverse aging process

by mid year, i should be a disgustingly wealthy, well-endowed, chiselled good looks, postgrad philanthropist. that’s gonna be hard to top. maybe 2008’s resolution should be:

1. buy spam blocker

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