reasons for leaving a job

i’ve always thought it peculiar for resumes or job application forms to include “reasons for leaving” a job. i mean, employers everywhere can’t really be expecting the honest truth right? in case they did, thought i’d draw up a list of real reasons for job seekers to use:

1. to make way for director’s mistress

2. newly installed firewall blocked access to friendster

3. bad feng shui

4. menstrual cycle coincided with monthly management meetings

5. upon advise of the voices

6. realised i needed a licence to do that

7. denied conjugal visitation rights

8. my medical condition does not agree with responsibility

9. was not suited for coming in to work in the morning

10. i do not work well with work

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